Hit the ice, granny

Advice from mom
By Rita Lessard

With all of this nice warm weather we’re experiencing, you would think that a winter sport such as hockey would be the last thing on our minds but since we usually spend money for the kids when they go back to school, we might as well add to that the expense of hockey registration.
I don’t imagine families do any fundraising to offset the cost of registration, which in turn pays for ice time and other hockey needs. Fortunately for us, when our five sons were playing we had a fundraising committee that raised lots of money that helped out a lot.
These days, I realize parents haven’t got the time or the energy to raise money in the fashion that we did. Although I was always at the arena, I never quite watched a complete hockey game. Usually I was working in the food booth, but that wasn’t my only excuse. Once the fans got going with their screaming and hollering, I couldn’t stand it and I would make myself scarce.
I realize hockey is a rough sport, but fans are sometimes more violent than the players on the ice. I remember one game in particular when we experienced the wrath of the fans.

Coming out swinging
(Note: names have been changed to protect individuals’ identities)
Jack’s parents and grandparents never missed a game. They really enjoyed watching Jack play and he was a very good player but they got a little carried away with their screaming and hollering. Grandma was the worst. She was quite feisty and she really didn’t appreciate it when Jack was in a scoring position and a player took a penalty to foil him. Joe seemed to be in the penalty box a lot, which wasn’t always a bad thing because most of the time he was there for stopping Jack from scoring.
This time, granny notices Joe’s jersey number after one such incident, and her vindictive mind brews a plan.
Granny waits a little bit until the game is over. As always, when the game is over, it is a custom for the players to line up and shake hands in a friendly manner; all things good or bad are forgotten. Not quite this time.
All of a sudden, Granny makes an appearance on the ice heading straight for Joe. Holy cow! With her purse as a weapon, she gets on the ice and starts swinging like Willie Mays. Since she doesn’t have skates on, she’s not too steady on her pins and eventually she goes down. She ended up breaking her wrist and she was taken off the ice on a stretcher – screaming, of course. We couldn’t shut that woman up.
If you can imagine how shocked we were at this performance, the fact that she was wearing a skirt when she went bottoms up was quite comical. Not too pretty!
Although Joe was startled, he wasn’t hurt. Grandma ended up getting a penalty: she wasn’t welcome at any more of Jack’s games.

Reach out and touch someone
You know, it truly is amazing how times have changed. I was listening to the news the other day and in some schools, the kids are not allowed to touch each other in any manner – no embracing, no hand shaking, no playing tag. It saddens me to think my grandchildren are denied this act of affection. If that were the case in the real world, I’d probably be locked up by now. I encourage you to take a chance and hug somebody today.
And remember, keep your stick on the ice and granny off the ice.

You won’t hear from mom for a while – not because she’s locked up, but because the Strip doesn’t publish again until Nov. 21. Read more advice then.